Hi, I am Rabia from Lahore. I also wrote you before. My wedding date has been finalized in Jan, 2010 Insha Allah. By the grace of Allah everything is going fine, my fiancé starts understand me and my feelings too. We share many good things regarding our likes and dislikes, as you guided me before. Our wedding preparations has been started, everything is going fine Masha Allah, but I don’t know what happened two weeks before a huge misunderstanding arised between us. Sometimes he took absolutely wrong meaning of my things, like i said in different way and he understands in totally opposite way. Even i clearify my point but he doesn’t try to understand. As i told you before that i really love him and at that point i bend my knees, because this relation is so precious for me than my ego. My Allah knows my feelings, He knows that i was not wrong at that time. Actually, he has been through some tough situations in the past, so he had some traces of that in his mind. Thats why he thought all the people of this world are same but i am not like rest. I am the girl who’ll be his wife soon. I understands him, I understands his feelings, his every situation. I am not saying that he doesn’t understands me completely, he understands, definitely tells me about his feelings regarding me but sometimes he doesn’t! I really get in too much tension sometimes, because I’ve clean heart for everyone. Last time you gave me good advice and that worked too. So please guide me how can I handle with him in the future after marriage. He is kind hearted, appreciative, sweet natured, loving, caring and every good thing he has but the bad thing, he is too short tempered. He is possessive about me he loves me so much. He also take care about my all likes and dislikes. One thing i tell you here that this would be Arrange Marriage. I’ve never been involved with anyone before, you can say that he is my first and last love, my true love!I want to give him all happiness which he is looking for and insha Allah I’ll give him. So please guide me, I hope you respond me again. Thanks.  Rabia , Lahore

Dearest Rabia, I’m very happy that you followed my advice and it worked for your betterment. Everything is fine between the two of you so do not worry. Just understand one simple thing for all future times that no relation and nothing else is simply perfect with no negatives in it. You should just concentrate on the wholesome pattern of your relationship which is now quite positive Mashallah. Remember wherever there is a dispute in which you think you are light them voice your opinion just once twice but not when he is in a level temper. Just be quiet at that movement as he will be blinded by anger and would not understand or accept any justification. When he cools down then do explain your situation by always start off by saying that “I understand how you took it and I’m sorry if you left bad as I love you very much. Its just that I meant…………..”. Mostly men do not accept outright that they can be wrong too or their ego does not permit to accept situation. Always see the good overall pattern of your relationship. Marriage is a huge project and we cannot give importance to every other misunderstanding. Best of Luck.

Respected Mam, Thanks a lot for answering me mam my mother is old & patient of sugar, blood pressure and her wish that i can do marriage as soon but i already told to yours good self that i want to go abroad my age is 28. My point of view that i can get marriage but you know that my income is very low please tell me what is yours suggestion about that. Regards Fayaz , Rawalpindi

Do not say no to your mother. Tell her you are looking for a good girl and when you will find her you will let her know. If your mother finds a girl for you then tell everything very honestly about your income, lifestyle and financial/social status to that girl and her family. If they do not like it they will refuse your proposal & say no. Like this you will have the satisfaction that you did not hurt your mother. Well if they agree to everything then you should get married to that girl as people with less income do not stay without marriage. They budget their finances accordingly. Also if you marry an educated girl then both of you can work to improve your financial condition. Maybe she proves to be a very good wife & a daughter in law. Like this you and your mother can be happy. Still if you have any other issues feel free to write to me again. Best Wishes.

I am 30+ single man and have a good job, these days my parents are in search of a suitable girl for me and i don’t object that but all I want to ask is… who can be the best wife? What are the qualities that one should look for in a girl when it comes to arranged marriage? I hope you respond! Muhammad Ali , Lahore

There is no set criteria for a “Suitable wife”. Every person’s lifestyle, nature, behavior, home environment and approach is different. First analyze and write down your own good and bad points, your habits and your expectations. Once you are sure of your needs, demands and expectation then you will formulate a rough sketch of the type, nature and attitude of the girl you want to marry. Do write to me about your self & your mental image of a wife then I will highlight the necessary traits to observe in a girl for a wife. Best Wishes.